It's been four years since she left us ...

My paternal grandma left us on this day four years ago. I could still remember tat I was home with my brother while my parents were in the hospice. Then my mum called.
"Your grandma just passed away." I didn't cry.

I didn't cry cos we were prepared that she was going to leave anytime.
I didn't cry cos I didn't know that it was gonna be that day.
I didn't cry cos the 'effect' of her death had not set in then.

She was suffering from cancer of the stomach. Death was her only relief. We were glad that she no longer had to suffer...

Preparation were swift cos the modern care-takers are very professional and they have packages. My uncles and father only needed to make minimal decisions.

Quite alot of people turned up for the funeral procession. I couldn't control my tears, they were like water from a running tap. I couldn't remember crying so badly when my paternal grandpa passed away 16 years ago. It was the first time I saw my father cry. He looked so weak and vulnerable then that I almost couldn't recognise him. To me, he's a stern and strong man. He is my hero, like those 英雄, 流血不流泪. Guess that was a soft side of my 英雄 . =p

I will still think of her every now and then.
I wish I know her more.
I wonder what is at the end of my path.
Will it lead to heaven or will it lead to hell?
Er, is there really a heaven and is there really hell?
Guess I will only know it when my time is up.

But one thing that I'm sure of.
My grandma is happy and she is not suffering anymore.

Cherish your grandparents while they are still around.
Hope it's not too late.